I think I won the penis lottery.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize