I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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