I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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