in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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