She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
