I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
