im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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