if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
