My Higher Power is John Stamos
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You ruined the universe
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