she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
