He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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