when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
