Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
