Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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