Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm like, not good at living.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
