For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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