he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We are two peas in an std pod
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
