why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
