Where is the hickey?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize