Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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