I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
