worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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