Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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