Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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