i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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