I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm sobbing to NWA
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize