Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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