I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
