This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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