Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
