I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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