We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
