Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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