Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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