that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...