I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense