I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess