sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
