I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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