Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
