as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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