My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
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