I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
