so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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