Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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