I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
