so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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