She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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