all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
