we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis