Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.