You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize