they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
