uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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