You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize