Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
