we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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