I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
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