i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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