Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
accomplished twins. life is a go
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
