It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
