Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.