It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
