finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize