I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
