I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
