seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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